On Recipes from Jewish Grandmothers

My mother has requested a dish called "osso buco" for her birthday dinner (she's a Christmas baby!). My paternal grandmother made it for her birthday for years, but now Gram lives in South Carolina and we won't be with her until the 26th. I called my grandmother up to try to get the recipe. Disaster ensues.

Precursor: the last time I asked my grandmother for her mandelbrot recipe, she left out crucial ingredients like, oh, I don't know, baking powder. Needless to say, my first attempt at mandelbrot was a little terrible. I have two theories behind this problem:

1) No Jewish grandmother works from written recipes. Recipes live in the mind, and involve measurements like "a little of this", "a handful of that", and "oh, who knows, just taste it til it seems perfect". Because she was working off of a mental recipe, she just plum forgot the baking powder.

2) Through a scheming grandmother complex of never wanting anyone else to make her signature dishes as beautifully as she did, she purposefully left off an ingredient or two, knowing I wouldn't be able to tell, my cooking would turn out a little mediocre, and she would remain queen of Jewish cooking for all time.

You decide.

Anyway. So I call up my grandmother, who at the age of eighty-something, is, to put it kindly, deaf as a fucking doornail unless you're sitting right next to her. My grandfather picks up, and I tell him what I want, warning him of my past recipe strife, and asking him to tell her that I want the WHOLE recipe, no shenanigans. He gives the phone to her. Before I can even get out of my mouth that I want her osso buco recipe, she has handed the phone to my grandfather because she can't understand me. Through multiple phone-passings-off, we are both finally on the same page that I need the recipe. Highlights of the phone conversation are as follows:

Gram: "Then add tomatoes! You know, I used to just pick them out of the garden, back in the day, but a can will do."
Me: "What size can?"
Gram: "A can. One that's big enough. You'll know."

Gram: "Put all those ingredients in a bag. Shake the bag. Shake it hard."

Gram: "Pour in some white wine. I like all kinds. PLENTY of white wine."

Gram: "Just bake it til it tastes good. You'll know."

We get to the end of the recipe-imparting. I rack my brain, trying to see if I remember any other delicious components of the dish. There are always big chunks of carrots. She has not remotely mentioned carrots. I call her out on this.

Gram: "Oh, carrots...of course, carrots. Brown them. Big chunks of carrots. Very important. Did I not say that? Carrots"

I am skeptical. This seems like scheming grandma, not forgetful grandma. I will win. I will make delicious osso buco. I ask if there are any other ingredients. She says no, wishes me luck with the dish, suggests I rob a bank to pay for the expensive veal shank bones that are the base of the dish. This seems like a good idea.

I call my mother, to tell her about scheming grandmother recipe ordeal. One minute in, my grandmother calls through, to tell me I should cross-check her with the Silver Palate recipe for osso buco, because "I'm old, you know". She tells me that I will make it beautifully, that my mother will love it, and that she wishes she could be there to taste it. Sighhhh. Cutest grandmother ever. I fly down to visit her on Saturday!

I love my grandmother, and am now in a quandary over how to gauge future recipes. Does she love me? Does she want me to fail? Are the two mutually exclusive? (I hope not??) Wish me luck on the osso buco journey. I remain wary.

I will be her one day. Never trust my recipes when I am a grandma and have to guard my Jewish culinary renown. Maybe don't even trust me now. But remember, even if I set you up for failure, I love you. It's for your (my?) own good.

What's in your closet? (and why I DO think it matters)

Even if you swear you're "not into fashion", you still get dressed in the morning. Getting dressed requires making choices. Choices about your style. Otherwise you'd go to work in a paper bag, or better (worse?) yet, naked. In other words, everyone has a style. It's more a matter of how you choose to express it.

I follow a bunch of fashion and style blogs, a stack of home and design blogs, and religiously read magazines from Vogue to Nylon to ID to Paper. I love some of it, ignore a lot of it, and wish I was the style editor for a big chunk of it. And yes, I think the pricetags on most of things on the pages are ludicrous. Because they are. Nobody should follow these publications or "experts" blindly, or they would go bankrupt. I use everything from magazines to people on the T to IKEA as inspiration for how I dress myself and the world around me, and can do so for low-brow pennies on the high-street dollar. But I do make style choices, for a variety of different reasons, depending on the day. And so do you. Unless you dress exactly like your roommates or your sister or your girlfriend every day, you have style.

If you think that style doesn't matter, I hate (ok, LOVE) to say that I think you're wrong. When you don't have much to judge people on, appearance ends up being one of the first things we utilize to form our opinions about people. It can be in a good way or a bad way, but the way we look does speak to a few things about us. It can subtly impart that we're trying to impress or follow the rules (slicked back hair, carefully ironed pants, expertly matched accessories) or that we bend the rules (tattoos peeking out from crisp white sleeves, a tasteful nose piercing). Big jewelry or bright colors can hint that we want to be remembered, while simple or dark clothing can indicate a push to blend in and not make a scene. Trendy bag = penchant for labels? Or just a love of that designer's aesthetic. Jacket from your mom's era? Sentimental value, or maybe you just hate the only leather jackets for sale in 2009 don't make you feel badass. Dressing for yourself, or dressing for other people: we make choices about what we wear, where we wear it, and what we want to portray dressed like that. Or we'd show up naked, and not care at all.

(Still think I'm wrong? Look at a picture of yourself when you were 2. And then one age 7. Then 11. 15. 20. Today. Are you wearing the same things? Do you cringe at some photos? Is part of the cringing not at acne or blurry photography, but at what you're wearing? Still wish you could wear pink puffy dresses or Superman pajamas in public, but some part of you says you shouldn't? I'm right. Fashion and style matter. You're welcome.)

(STILL think I'm wrong? Would you wear your bathing suit to a job interview? Would you wear your business suit to the beach? No? Yeah, I'm right. I thought so.)

Don't get me wrong--I'm not saying you have to spaz every time you put on jeans: "What am I saying if I put on boot cut or skinny, acid-washed or dark rinse?!?!" Style and fashion shouldn't be a singular obsession: you can look like Heidi Klum and still be bad at your job or be a terrible person. But don't write it all off, either. Think about how your favorite concert t-shirt or a dangly pair of earrings or a killer cocktail dress can lift your mood. And how uncomfortable you are when you're wearing shoes that hurt, an ugly sweater your mom made you wear, or when you know you're having a bad hair day. We all make style and fashion choices, and you may as well admit it and enjoy it. And if you want to go shopping, give me a call.

Suggestions if you want to open up your mind to the world of style?
The Sartorialist--one of the pre-eminent fashion photographers today, Scott Shuman
Garance Dore (Thank you to Kate!) Scott's girlfriend Garance, a photographer and illustrator
Put This On (thank you to Leif) "how to dress like a grownup" (I will be writing more about this...)
New Brahmin (Boston style) Local fashion and style buffs who work for Boston publications
New York Times Fashion and Style. The eponymous NYTimes.
The Moment (New York Times) NY Times style blog
The Selby amazing photos of interesting people, their style, and their homes

Magazines:
Vogue (British edition highly recommended) Vanity Fair, Nylon, ID, Paper, and many, many more.

Comment with your favorite style and fashion blogs, please!

On the kind of customer service that keeps me from yelling at you

I have worked in customer service for years: retail, food service, secretarial work. Cliche but true, the phrase "the customer is always right" [at least until they're out of earshot] is something to tattoo in a highly visible spot in your brain. While customers shouldn't ignore the humanity of service workers, they are still paying for a service, and expect and deserve polite, respectful, and non-condescending communication. Regardless of age or gender.

Case in point: If you are an MBTA worker, and the trains are running 10 and then 25 minutes late, do NOT berate ME for "cutting it too close" and rudely blame MEfor the fact that I will be horrifically late for work. Instead, apologize for the delays and thank me for my patience. If you do that, I am much more likely to empathize with you also having a stressful morning, surrounded by soggy, late commuters. If, however, you choose to talk down to a 22 year old girl, when I pay the same $60 a month for your services as the rest of your beleaguered customers [only to be late 75% of the time] I will call you out on this in front of said platform of fellow angry riders. I played zero role in making the train late (for the millionth time this year), and therefore, will not accept your Masshole attitude alongside my lack of caffeination and sopping wet shoes.

This same advice goes to sales clerks (how do YOU know that I'm not going to buy anything? I usually do, and if you're a snob, I will tell the cashier that any other salesperson helped me and screw you out of any commission), waitstaff (I tip insanely well), and staff at universities or human resources (I am a student/employee, please don't treat me like a moron).

Do unto others, don't be an jerk, the customer is always right--all synonyms for the same thing. Treat your consumers with at least a modicum of respect. Or beware their early morning rage.

Just another great cab conversation...

In my cab to a strange business meeting last night, I had a Lebanese cab driver. He asked me what I did, and when I said I raised funds for Mass General, writing all the thank you notes to rich people, he started telling me about the Muslim theories behind giving.

He spoke about "zakat", the philosophy of giving in Islam. In his culture, giving was more of an obligation, not a thing to be congratulated for. He told me that the best way for a wealthy person to give was in such a manner that the recipient didn't know the giver, and the giver didn't know the recipient, commenting that in this type of situation, nobody could feel better than or worse than the other party. There should be neither pride nor shame in giving or receiving, he said. Also, he said, the idea of people tacking their names all over buildings or donor lists, expecting a pat on the back for giving, when they were in the financial position to be generous, was silly.

This made total sense to me. I told him that the word for exactly this concept in Judaism is "tzedakah", or obligation. Giving is expected of everyone, in greater amounts from the wealthy, and in small amounts from everyone, and flashy or public recognition of tzedakah is unnecessary and runs counter to the underlying philosophy. There are 8 levels of giving, described by a Jewish philosopher. The top level is teaching or enabling someone how to support themselves so they don't require money from others, and the level right below that is the double-blind giving described by my Muslim cab driver. He laughed when we realized the parallels between our two cultures, when for others simply realizing there was a Jew and a Muslim in the car could have been awkward. We both smiled discussing the things in common between the two beliefs and cultures were and how not many people pause to realize the links.

When I asked why he left Lebanon, the conversation segued into a Munich-like dialogue(if you haven't seen the movie, please do), about how politicians and people at the top create much of the conflict in the Middle East, while everyday people just want to live their lives, support their families, and be happy, regardless of ethnicity, wealth, or political affiliation. He left Lebanon, where politicians at the top almost caused a civil war a few years ago, hoping for a place with less conflict and the chance to live a good life.

In a world where we're always dead set on finding the differences, whether Democrat/Republican, man/woman, Jew/Muslim, American/foreigner, I hopped out of my cab, truly touched by the simple and compassionate conversation between two regular people, willing to see how similar all people are.

On Being Employed!

Exciting news! I negotiated my way into a full-time position at my temp job. This means the following:

• I can stop trolling craiglist (NOT the adult section, thankyouverymuch)
• I will have real health benefits!
• I will get paid more!
• And the best part: I know what I will be doing for the next year or so, and can make other plans accordingly.

When I was looking for jobs, it was hard to turn that part off and do anything else. I had no central basis for coordinating other things I wanted to do, and was constantly thinking about applications, resumes, and references. Even at my temp job, I had a difficult time wanting to make more solid relationships with my coworkers, because I didn't know how long I was going to be there, and I felt insecure suggesting changes or speaking up. My new job extends me new responsibilities, opportunities for professional development, the comfort to strengthen relationships with coworkers, and the security to flex my muscles in my everyday duties, as well as the ability to enjoy the rest of my other time and ambitions in the near future outside of the 9-5 window.

Now that I can take a mental deep breath, I'm signing up for a real gym membership, applying to be a Big Sister (they ask that you have a secure lifestyle for the foreseeable year to even apply!), plotting more networking and community involvement, and spending weekday afternoons reading and going to the movies instead of writing cover letters. The chunk of actual and subconscious time taken up with the job search and stress is out the window for the time being, and truth be told, I won't miss it a tiny bit. Now I can just giggle at the Missed Connections part of craigslist, instead of the marketing/PR and nonprofit sections of the job posts.

Since I'm working in development (read: bringing in the $$ bills, y'all) at Mass General, I'm hoping to learn enough useful things to contribute skills (and my free time) to nonprofits that need an extra hand--a big perk of learning and working at a large and stable organization. Listservs like Young Non-profit Professionals Network (YNPN) disseminate work, volunteer, and networking opportunities in the Boston area--check it out if you're in the field. There are some great programs going on at Mass General too, like the Home Base Program, which provides crucial psychological services to veterans returning from deployment with post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injury, and I'm excited to volunteer at more events.

I plan to use any comp time I get on the job to travel on the weekends. Places on the itinerary are DC and NYC for starters, but I'm always looking for new places/people to visit, and saving up time to make it out to California to see my brother, my cousin, and maybe Leif and Stivers if they're lucky!

On a slight tangent, a friend on Twitter mentioned a great program that doesn't seem to have a general group in Boston: Dining For Women. Once a month, women (don't see why men couldn't be included too) meet for a potluck dinner, donating the funds they would have spent going out to dinner to women in need. I'd seriously love to set up a chapter, any takers? Check out the site and the mission statement below!

Mission Statement:
Changing the world one dinner at a time
DFW empowers women living in extreme poverty by funding programs fostering good health, education, and economic self-sufficiency, and cultivates educational dinner circles inspiring individuals to make a difference through the power of collective giving.

Play Nice, Win Big.

It pays to be nice to people.

Case in point: I'm running late to work this morning, and I stop by my usual Dunkin Donuts. The people who work there are super friendly and nice, and they know me as a regular by now. I make it a point to always be pleasant with them, even if an order gets screwed up or the line is long, and I ask how they are or how their weekend was. This morning, I walked in, and before I even actually got in line, one of my favorite women behind the counter got my attention, showing me she'd ALREADY made my bagel! I was in and out in no time, in a great mood, and a little renewal of faith in humanity after the typical morning T ride.

Treacly/sentimental, sure. But my mom always taught me that it's right to be pleasant and friendly to everyone. The coffee shop worker, the janitor, the secretary, the store clerk--not only are they real people who deserve friendliness and respect, they can also be your best connections (transition from altruism to a little premeditation). If you befriend the office secretary, you always get a warm welcome and are guaranteed quick responses. A clerk is more likely to do you a favor or hold an item if you don't treat them like dirt. Vice versa, your boss will love if you notice she's having a rough day, and your dad is thrilled when you remember to wish him good luck before a big meeting. And everyone I know was on the bottom rung at some point in their lives. I worked for minimum wage at a deli and folded panties at the Gap. To this day, I tip counter staff, try to not wreck clothing displays at stores, and say "Thanks, have a good day!" to stressed out workers. I do expect the same, and am often disappointed by the lack of basic politeness and pleasantries in others, but hey, maybe I'll start a trend.

This translates into every facet of life. Everyone is a real person with real feelings and real problems. Even superficial or quick relationships should be two-way, and cognizant of both parties' humanity. Unless of course the other party just fired you, dumped you, or gave you the wrong version of your half-caf latte, two Splendas, one cream. Then clearly that person is the spawn of Satan and deserves to roast in hell....

A little net love

• Bought my own domain name! (convinced to do so by Leif) Hopefully I'll be setting it up soon, redirecting my blog, adding some new components, etc. I'm no technophile, but I'm going to give it a shot!
• A Google Wave invite is headed my way! (courtesy of Dan) I've heard a lot about it, and Danielle scored some early access, so I'm excited to check it out, see if all the fuss measures up. I watched a video or two on it a while back, and seems like something I could really take advantage of, especially with the number of people I keep in touch with on an almost all-online basis.
• Pistachios + Levi Johnston = hilarious
• It's Always Sunny = I want to knit my cat mittens, now that I can knit
• I love the ease of online donations: if you haven't already, even $5 makes a difference. I'm walking in the Light the Night walk tomorrow night at Boston Common to raise money for leukemia and lymphoma research. Our friend Eric Zagorda passed away almost exactly a year ago following a long battle with leukemia, and in his memory we're raising money. He was an active educator and vocal advocate for medical advancement in this area, and staying involved with the cause is one of the best ways to remember him. Check out my team's page, and make a secure online donation

• AND it pays to have friends in high places: Samantha works in the Student Affairs office at Northeastern, and got a mention of our fundraising into the VP for Student Affairs' blog! Thanks Sam!
  

REALLY?

From my internal All-User email at MGH:

Animal Walk will affect traffic tonight

The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is in town and is having its annual Animal Walk tonight. Traffic delays can be expected.
The Animal Walk will travel the following route:
At approximately 7 pm, the animals will depart Pacific Avenue in Cambridge, turn right onto Albany Street and right onto Mass. Ave.
They will turn left on Memorial Drive and stay on Memorial Drive until the Charles River Bridge on Msgr. O'Brien Highway.
They will turn right to cross the Charles River Bridge and pass in front of the Museum of Science.
They will then go down Martha Road and take a left on Nashua Street to the TD Garden ramp.
Thank you.
MGH Parking and Commuter Services

...anyone want to go look at elephants and zebras in the rain? No?

South End Exploration

The South End: one of my favorite areas of the city to just meander through. A little old, a little new, and always amazing colors.


I would live here happily...
The clouds reflected = perfection

Color close-up

Contrast the worksite with the cityscape (want to paint one too?)

My mom, an architect, always taught me to remember to look up.

She loves construction sites, too. I always take a second look.

He's keeping an eye on things....

Storefront on waltham...

Dream brownstone. All that's missing is me walking down those steps leaving for work in the morning...

Group of wildly fashionable men, checking out the abandoned Sahara restaurant...

Just made me smile....

Twinkle twinkle

Shadow and light and an amazing space at the South End Open Market

City gardens. One day, i'll have a spot in one.

Ivy-covered anything

Pravda, eat your heart out--some boozehound left your classy nip outside a classy hotel last night...this would make an amazing ad.

My answers, to be continued....

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
The mundane.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Not saying "bless you" when someone sneezes, and forgetting to reciprocate (and mean) the question "how are you doing?"
5. Which living person do you most admire?
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Magazines, big earrings, and text messages. And a second lime in every gin and tonic.
7. What is your current state of mind?
undercaffeinated, anticipatory, and antsy
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
being "nice" and "normal". I doubt the actual existence of these virtues, and if they do manifest, they'd certainly be boring.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
11. Which living person do you most despise?
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Remembering the details
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Tolerance for differences among women
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Literally. Fuck. Seriously.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
16. When and where were you happiest?
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Less quick to speak my mind--not that I will ever stop speaking my mind, I just wish I'd think it out a little more often before opening my mouth.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Making and maintaining the many amazing relationships I have, overcoming time, distance, and differences--harder than I ever would have thought.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
21. Where would you most like to live?
London when possible, Geneva in the summer, although I can see myself settling in Boston...
22. What is your most treasured possession?
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The mundane.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
Anyone who knows will say my loud, distinctive laugh. And I always have bandaids and bobby pins in my purse.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
A sense of warped humor, good hugs, and the quiet ability to step up.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Kerouac, Vonnegut, Austen, Feynman, Chabon, Chbosky, Singer, Lamb, Diamant
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
31. What are your favorite names?
32. What is it that you most dislike?
Expensive plane tickets
33. What is your greatest regret?
34. How would you like to die?
35. What is your motto?

Proust Questionnaire

I love reading Vanity Fair--who doesn't love fashion, politics, and world affairs all in one magazine? One of my favorite parts is the very last page, where a famous/well-known person answers the Proust Questionnaire, explanation below. I love the range of answers to a fairly simple set of questions, and I've answered them myself before. Take the time to read through them and ponder your answers. Post the answers to any that move you in the comments, and I'll post my answers tomorrow.

(From the Vanity Fair website!)

The Proust Questionnaire

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
5. Which living person do you most admire?
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
7. What is your current state of mind?
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
9. On what occasion do you lie?
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
11. Which living person do you most despise?
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
16. When and where were you happiest?
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
21. Where would you most like to live?
22. What is your most treasured possession?
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
24. What is your favorite occupation?
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
26. What do you most value in your friends?
27. Who are your favorite writers?
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
31. What are your favorite names?
32. What is it that you most dislike?
33. What is your greatest regret?
34. How would you like to die?
35. What is your motto?

Can't See the Forest For the Trees (or how to see the big picture and the details all at once)

A conversation with Delia this morning reminds me of my ever-present obsession with the seeming mutual exclusivity of either The Big Picture or The Little Details. She commented how it seems silly for feminists to rail on and on about the hijab as a restrictive facet of life in the Arab world, or about how it should be chairPERSON, not chairMAN, when female genital mutilation, among other things, is still a major concern.

In my experience, people have a hard time striking the balance between focusing on the long term or big picture, or having the presence of mind to also pick up on the little details. This can range from ensuring a fabulous high-profile speaker and a wonderful venue for an event, but forgetting to make a schedule checklist for the event preparation volunteer staff, to enacting mandatory health insurance, without noting that mandatory doesn't mean everyone will actually have insurance or have access to prompt care.

Is wrapping your head around The Big Picture or The Little Details a one or the other skill? My time spent as a program assistant helped enable me to at least be aware of both, and make sure to crosscheck that all the little details supported the big picture, at the same time as ensuring that the big picture could be appropriately implemented at the lowest level. I can see how people at different, more specific levels of business, government or leadership can let one slip away--I still don't think that's ok. Menino should have an understanding of the ways that laws get implemented in local communities--for example, if bike lanes are painted in all around the city, how is that being publicized? Are people aware of the laws that go along with biking and driving together in the city? At the same time, areas with high numbers of bike accidents should be made aware of the new lanes, and perhaps bike organizations and community safety organizations should be encouraged to discuss the new lanes, and new behaviors that should go along with them.

Naomi Wolf's article addressing what Muslim women want looks at the big picture and the details on a much larger sociopolitical landscape. By addressing the movers and shakers among Muslim women, instead of the often superficial claims of the hijab and other customs symbolize repression and old-fashioned culture, she looks to BOTH the overarching issues and the lowest levels of activism. Headscarves? How about women who are victims of honor killings? And how about more press for the headscarf-wearing women who are business owners, political activists, and non-profit leaders?

Moral of the story: instead of being tied to the top-down or the bottom-up perspective of an issue or a task, perhaps more success can be garnered by taking the opportunity to look through both lenses. If people at either end continue to see a concept as workable in only massive or minor ways, we'll continue to have problems "solved" or "addressed" on paths that never intersect on a real solution.

The Compliment Cycle

I work in a mostly female office (oh, the world of development), populated with lots of well-dressed, super-pleasant women between the ages of approximately 22-55. This creates what I think of as the compliment cycle, or the ego boost train I got used to when I was in Switzerland for a month living with a large group of girls: even without full-length mirrors and an ironing board, we all made a serious effort to remind each other how gorgeous and stylish we looked every morning!

What this means: women are psychologically conditioned to use compliments as a way of doing several things:

1) ingratiate themselves with each other
2) establish a personal connection
3) talk about something other than the weather/the weekend
4) make each other smile/feel good about themselves

I'm not always sure if we truly DO love the other woman's lipstick/handbag/new haircut, but it's an interesting bonding and socialization method that definitely exists in offices and other social situations. A compliment is a quick way to have a one-on-one interaction with someone you don't know anything about, and usually opens up for a "oh thanks, I got it on sale/at this store, you should check it out" or a similar conversation extension. And even when you notice that the compliment is part of a fairly established office routine, it never fails to make the other woman smile or walk away feeling a little bit better, knowing someone else has noticed her efforts to put on a good face to the rest of the world. When you don't always interact on a professional level with everyone in your office, or even know everyone's name, a semi-superficial--ok, entirely superficial--compliment is the simplest way to create connections and a positive atmosphere. Women can be catty, or we can be complimentary. We're good at both, and in a workplace like mine, compliments rule the day. Try it!

The compliments even work with men, who are usually more surprised and pleased with the comment than a woman, since its not such a typical "how about the Pats?" interaction between men. And men--if you notice, in a non-sexual way, that we look particularly nice or have cut our hair, we'll be endlessly impressed with your observational powers and that you took the time to try to make us smile.

Any more advice?

I've gotten quite the stack of advice lately. Since most of it has come from reputable sources, I'll take it all into consideration.

• Don't go to grad school unless you know what you want to study
• But take the GRE now, while you still remember how to multiply
  
• Check your work (especially if it's algebra on the GRE)
• Stop being so closed off
• Don't be afraid to realize you don't want something you think you've wanted for a long time
• Change is important, and you have to let it happen (even kicking and screaming)
  
• Go to sleep--stop being the last one awake and the first one to wake up
• Find the balance of giving things time and not settling for something that's not right
• No need to be in such a rush
• Have another glass of wine
• Give people (boys) a chance
• Make sure you find things to fill your life other than the 9-5
• Leave your hair down, instead of pulling it back in a pony tail
• It's ok to ask for what you need, and it's ok to say no.
  

Had a long conversation with a potential client of a friend today (check out the friend if you're in need of graphic/web design!). Entrepreneurs are refreshing--that need to DO something, try something a different way, figure out what they don't like about the status quo and offer another option, even if there's the huge potential to flounder or fail along the way. The process of planning and surveying is part of the joy for them. I love asking someone starting out in a new project all the questions, trying to find the "sweet spot" of what someone is looking to create or offer. It's like editing your own work--almost impossible to find the holes or grey areas in your own writing, or your own ideas. Gaining the perspective of others is crucial to the self-discovery process. If you just continue to self-examine, you'll magnify things or let others fall by the wayside, instead of allowing an outside observer to draw your attention to what's not immediately obvious to you at short distance.

""He left any job where he wasn't learning or when his dignity, however defined, was anywhere compromised" , from You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers. Another book that made me laugh out loud on the T. If someone's not giving you a weird look, you're living too quietly.

Can't Help But Fill Up the Calendar

Now that I've been at work for almost two months, it's about time to get back into a busy little routine. I miss classes and campus life on some level, so the only solution is to start signing up for events, classes, and other ways to get myself involved in things other than my social circle.

• Open Classroom: Northeastern offers the community the chance to audit a class on urban policy and issues taught by Prof. Bluestone. Once you're registered, you can sit in on any of the classes from 9/10-12/10. A group of us are signing up (let me know if you do too!), and while I may not buy all the books recommended on the official syllabus, I'm strangely hungry for poli-sci nerd knowledge and a classroom setting.
• Fashion Week Boston: on the opposite side of the spectrum, I want to take advantage of some of the free events offered during Boston's own Fashion Week, with some events taking place over the course of a month. It's no NYC or Milan, but I'll take a little runway and cocktail action any time, any place. I've RSVP'd to a few already, and open to other suggestions
• Groupon: Danielle and I bought coupons for a month of kayaking at Boston's Community Boating, to get fresh air and a kickass view of the Zakim at sunset, but Groupon has plenty of other discounted options for getting out and about or just relaxing--check it out!
• BCAE: I'm investigating classes at the Boston Center for Adult Education--hoping for a drawing or wheelthrowing class, but like I said--I miss classes and learning something new will keep me from feeling static.
• As more and more people enter the race for Sen. Kennedy's vacated seat, I'd love to get involved in a campaign, but biding my time a little to see who else jumps on board before picking one to volunteer for--anyone have insight or reasons to go for one over another?

Always room for more things--suggestions, resources, and ideas welcome for ways to get over the campus portion of my life but kickstart involvement on a whole new playing field!

Apparently, I miss classes.

The NYTimes Sunday Magazine had a pretty intense article about Memorial Hospital, an institution battered during Hurricane Katrina. The Times has continued to cover various facets and stories stemming from the tragedies during Katrina, and the damage, the aftermath, and the multiple revelations of flaws in our public and private systems, social prejudices and injustices, and capabilities of our government (or lack thereof) are myriad. Katrina is an ideal case study, sadly, for the difficulties in public policy, crisis strategies, big vs. small government, and the government agency and non-profit team effort that running the country has become.

The recent NYTimes article focused on the crisis management and ensuing murder charges that came out of an incredibly difficult, stressful, and tragic situation at one affected hospital during Katrina. The problem with crises is that a crisis only occurs when there are no logical or planned-for responses--if you knew what to do, it wouldn't be a crisis. For all the planning, education, preventative measures, structure, and hierarchies that exist in various organizations, a true crisis throws them all out the window. This is related to the division of public policy and legal or practical implementation--just because you have a great idea of how to solve a problem doesn't mean you will be able to properly structure the system that will actually address it, institutionally, socially, and in the long run.

I apparently really miss classes, because this is the sort of thing I've been thinking about non-stop since I read the article. Check out the piece, and more later...

Yiddish!

On the heels of my last post, and on a lighter note:

Learn Yiddish!

...or at least learn hilarious phrases to pepper your daily conversations with. I never realized how many words/phrases I use until my roommates and friends pointed it out. My grandparents still can speak Yiddish, and used to use it with each other when they didn't want us know what they were discussing. My dad can tell a few off-color jokes and slyly insult people using it. My use extends to words like chutzpah, schmaltzy, shmatte, and other things Tom loves to take out of context.

Spice up your vocab, learn a few choice comments from the link above! Practice the gutteral "ch" sound, and quick reminder: Yiddish can be super sarcastic. My dad loves the phrase "go in good health" (gei gezint, loosely transliterated from how he pronounces it), which is actually kind of like saying "don't let the door hit you on the way out" depending on the situation. Usually, it's a charming language--my grandfather has called me "shana punim" or "pretty face" for years (collective awwwww).

So. Use Yiddish. Use it well. Use it sarcastically or sincerely, whichever works for you. L'chaim.

I am consistently amazed, impressed, inspired by the strength, insight, and compassion of the people I'm lucky enough to surround myself with. The sheer tenacity and aplomb with which they handle stress, tragedy, confrontation, disappointment, challenges, uncertainty, and each other keep me going and remind what I have to live up to. If one measure of a person's success is the company they keep, then I win.

Their toolbox for life includes the following, and more:

laughter, analysis, overanalysis, hugs, snuggling, late night phonecalls, unexpected mail, patience for inanity, calm, tolerance of views that directly contradict their own, the ability to see the bigger picture, love for those they disagree with, and an unconditionality of support and respect and being-there-ness that trumps distance, conflicts, and all the weird stumbling blocks of life.

Vague, yes. But more a side note to myself that I so value the people around me and what they make my life. And a reminder to keep that mentality in the back of my mind even when things seem rough, and to make sure the people that make daily existence possible know how much they mean.

Daily dose of schmaltz over. Daily dose of Yiddish word provided.

Sundays are good for the soul

Sundays are my favorite thing in the world. My latest routine is buying the Sunday New York Times, which, at a whopping six bucks, is a treat in and of itself, and locating a spot on a Panera patio to get fresh air, coffee, and a breakfast sandwich all simultaneously. I stay until I've read the majority of the paper, even occasionally reading the Sports section, watching the suburbanites of Brookline take in their Sundays too, with dogs and babies in tow. Last week I watched a mini rainburst from the comfort of the covered patio, and today I had a great chat with two little girls, one of whom had a Batgirl costume I would've (ok, still would) killed for.

Nothing beats the Sunday NYTimes in hard copy. I usually rip things out, and the format, with inline photos, the ability to jump back and forth between articles, and even getting newsprint ink on my fingertips, is way better than a flickering screen. My guiltiest pleasure of all is the wedding Vows column. The cynic in me secretly loves the charming stories of relationships made good, and whoever writes the column has a non-saccharine way of weaving the tale. If I ever get married, I hope my relationship and my celebration are worthy of being covered in a column. Yes, it makes me feel a little like Katharine Heigl in 27 Dresses, but since I'm sure I'll be subjecte to some ludicrous bridesmaid dresses, the comparison isn't too far off.

Sundays are that potluck day: today I had my newspaper hour(s), cleaned the apartment in a team effort with the roommates, did research on grad schools, watched most of both Legally Blonde movies, and ate Vietnamese food. Productive, cathartic, and relaxing, all in the same day. Plus, now it's only 9 pm, which means watching a little TV (Batman movie = I have such a dirty old man crush on Jack Nicholson), doing more grad school research, and even getting to sleep at a reasonable hour. A potluck, patchwork, slightly ADD day. Exactly what I need before a few days at work and an unexpected trip home for a funeral. On a tangential note: weddings and funerals are bizarre uniters of friends grown apart. I wish it didn't take major events to do that. I also wish funerals didn't happen.

“American Values” — A Smoke Screen in the Debate on Health Care Reform

Interesting article by my uncle, a doctor at University of South Carolina School of Medicine, Columbia. Some of my thoughts on the health care issue later.

I shall blog again!

Uh. Apparently a brief blogging hiatus transpired. Numerous apologies. The last weeks of college, graduation antics, a stint of frustrated unemployment, two months of rain, and my recent three weeks of legitimate employment are to blame. Excuses are silly though. Blogging will recommence.

I am hungry to learn. Three months after graduating, I miss classes already. To the point where I signed up for the GRE in a fit of frustration yesterday morning. September 26, bring on the math (eeeek). I'm currently working in a development office, and while it's interesting and I'm learning new skills, my liberal arts, politically nerdy brain misses some of the content I soaked up in college. Not that I have a really concrete idea of what I want to study with my hopefully fabulous GRE scores. I have lots of ideas, actually, so I'm doing some serious research into cities, schools, programs, and professors that hit a nerd nerve with me. A smattering of concepts include:

• political rhetoric, inspired by my favorite professor senior year
• public policy
• global communications, inspired by a 2 year program through the London School of Economics and the Annenberg School at USC
• urban planning/city design
• nonprofit management
• business --don't laugh, I'm serious and I have my reasons.
• development/women's issues related programs.

I want to bring both a solid knowledge of material and a real skill set to what I do in the future, and I think a combination of work experience and more school is the way to go. Any insight into what YOU see me doing, or programs you've heard good things about?

On a completely unrelated tangent: I love cooking. I bought a set of cookbooks, and had a little internal monologue about needing to cook more often, and bring leftovers to work. Cooking's also such an easy way to entice friends over for dinner and dessert, and gratefully fed friends often bring wine :). Made delicious chili corn cakes, baked apples with balsamic, and some other tasty things (inquire for recipes), and I'll post recipes/photos as I get more creative. I also baked two batches of treats without burning them, a little more cautious after I charred two sheets of chocolate chip cookies I'd been daydreaming about.

One final note: I am reading like a fiend, due to my onset of desire to learn/think. Suggestions are welcomed, and I'm accumulating what is a pretty intense library of my books and a friend's books I'm babysitting for the year. Let's give/borrow/discuss? There's been murmurings of an actual bookclub, on the heels of our Twitter book club attempt, and I'd be so down.

The Happy List

Trying to write more on the Happy List. Check it out! Ladies, let's get back to posting more often, everything you add makes me smile too.

Always helps put things in perspective. If you want to get in on the catharsis and be added as a contributor, let me know!

Getting Involved

I'm all signed up to volunteer at Wine Riot next weekend! Sponsored by the Second Glass and the Weekly Dig, Wine Riot's goal is to ignore the snobbery of other wine tasting events, and get a younger, less stiff crowd involved. As part of this, they offered a free voucher for one of the sessions to people who would volunteer at another session. I'll be working set-up Friday morning, and then going to the night session on Saturday with the girls! Danielle has been really into wine lately and sparked some interest on my end, and this is a freeee way to get some new insight/a good buzz. I finish classes tomorrow, so it'll be a great way to celebrate!

I'm also planning to volunteer at the United Nations Association of Greater Boston's [UNAGB] Consuls Ball next weekend. My student group on campus, the Northeastern United Nations Association, works with UNAGB to host and staff Model UN conferences for middle and high school students. The ball is the big fundraiser for their Global Classrooms program, and I'm hoping to be able to talk up Northeastern's involvement as well as do a little on-the-sly networking for my jobless self.

To round off my volunteer excitement , my old roommate Sam is a project leader for Boston Cares, and I signed up to play with cats at the MSPCA with her on a few Saturdays in May! Boston Cares is a great volunteer organization that allows people to sign up for various projects and events without a long-term commitment, but lets them take advantage of free time they have to give back a little. I want to look into a few regular volunteer opportunities once we finish moving to Brookline as well.

One last volunteer/community give-back note: found HandsIn during some poking around on Twitter. Check it out! Their mission reads:

HandsIn harnesses the unique energy and creative passion of 20-somethings, inspiring them to connect with each other through volunteerism and empowering them to change their world through dedicated service and a shared commitment to a sustainable lifestyle.

As the world changes, the means of service are changing too, and this is definitely not your grandmother’s community service and lifestyle network. Instead, HandsIn uses the strength of what’s new and different to tackle the real problems of today’s world.

Change starts with you. Join HandsIn today to become a powerful agent of 21st century transformation!

Sounds like a plan to me!

Monday

Things that will help me make it through the week:

• Google Calendar. Runs my life. If you have Gmail and don't use the calendar, I am mystified by you.
• Tomorrow's yoga class--last one for the semester, but learning and remembering to focus on my breathing has probably saved my sanity the last few weeks. An hour a week where all I do is focus on my body and my breathing is amazing.
• Tonight's new Gossip Girl. Utter, utter trash. It's like fashion porn, and it's an hour of escapism. Similar to yoga, in that it allows time to focus on things other than current stressors.
• Going to DC on Wednesday. We're taking an overnight train: I loveee trains. And getting out of Boston means a mental scene change. It's my last Nationals conference for Model Arab League, and we have a great team going.
• My last day of college classes ever is three weeks from today. I just realized that. Wow. Wow.
  

Always Take the Higher Road

Lesson learned in the past few years: whenever I look back on a conflict situation, I always wish I had taken the higher road. Been the better woman. Left the petty things behind. Thought before I spoke. Kept my mouth firmly shut.

It's easy to mouth off. It's easy to make noise. It's never as easy to make amends, to apologize, or to make the other person understand why you had such a visceral reaction to something. I'm not saying the high road is the least painful road at the time. And I'm not saying that you can't still think the other person involved is completely and totally wrong. But if you make the scene, you de-legitimize your complaint. You look [and eventually] feel like you're more at fault than the other contributor. And it's fairly painful to remove your foot, or even your whole leg, from your figurative mouth.

Always be the better person. You already know you are, so just remember to act like it.

A little introspection never hurt....right?

I'm feeling very "work in progress" lately. The next month or two is all about wrapping up and starting over, basically at the same time, and it's causing a little bit of difficulty figuring out what to do and when. For a girl who's always a little indecisive when it comes to the big things, and who has trouble with change when its not on my own terms, it's been a little rough. My moods have been swinging, my behavior a little erratic, and introspection has been pretty heavy for me. Don't think introspection has led to any new conclusions: only new forms of crazy and indecisive as I come up with more things to think about. And I know this isn't any unique or defining state of being--I think that's been even harder on all of us, in some respects. Almost nobody in my life is grounded and sane enough to be a rock at the moment, so we all end up bearing the craziness on our own, reaching out to each other as best we can while trying not to add to each other's mental confusion. Between the economy, the job hunt, changes of location, and relationship dynamics [platonic and otherwise], we all have our emotional plates pretty full--and are wishing anyone else's plate looked attractive enough to pick a bite off of.

I don't mean to sound so melodramatic--but it's that quarter-life crisis time. Tomorrow morning, the mood will have swung, and I'll be day dreaming about my gorgeous new apartment, ignoring that I need to find a job to pay the rent. I'll be googling jobs in London for next year, as opposed to finishing my philosophy paper. I'll be planning city adventures with friends that may not be in the city at all any more in 6 weeks. Sometimes, I think it's good to have mood swings. It makes you delve a little deeper, and realize that the flipside of the intense emotions, both good and bad, exist on almost every topic. I've gotten some criticism lately for taking things too seriously, or getting too emotional or vocal about situations. While I'm not sure I always pick the right way to express things [yelling when I'm angry, or being THE loudest laugh at the bar], I think my passion, in both directions, is an important part of me. I care pretty intensely about the things I'm involved in and the people in my life, and I usually choose to express that, rather than internalize it. It may get me in trouble from time to time, speaking my mind and my feelings, but I'd rather know I felt things. I've come a long way in the past 5 years in terms of how and when I say my piece, but lately, I think I've been hellbent on reminding myself that I care.

Top Five Friday

1) The middle school teacher/advisor I talked to at the Model UN conference--she was busy looking up YouTube clips and other things online to help with a unit she's teaching, and telling me about getting grants/class time extensions to get more kids involved in their small school's MUN program. She's always so energetic and creative, and really dedicated to helping her kids learn and like it--not just swallow information verbatim and pass the MCAS

2) Not needing a coat today: a welcome change from 4 feet of snow and frigid Maine (although I miss the heated pool and comfy couches)

3) Having one more weekend of spring break before returning to the grind--some time to pull my life together and catch up on things.

4) My new business cards! Some are green with white font, and the other set are Moo Cards, and have different photos on the back that I took myself. Ask me for one!

5) Plans for the month of March! St. Patrick's Day, visiting Linda in Philly, Washington DC. As much as I love Boston, changes of scenery are great, and seeing people I miss is fantastic. On tap for the next few months: California, South Dakota, probably Pittsburgh.

Disconnect

We--a group of friends from freshman/sophomore year--are up in Maine for spring break. Sadly, no sunshine or beach time, but something almost better: no cell service! We have wireless, which is necessary for jobhunting/checking in with jobs some of us already work at, but the sheer delight of not having to answer my phone can't even be put into words. I'm sure when I turn it on as we head back to civilization Thursday it will practically explode with useless texts, tweets, and voicemails from the Northeastern Development office, wanting my nonexistant money. However, for now, I enjoy the snow, the comfy couches, the heated pool, and the disconnect from life in Boston.

There's about 4 feet of snow outside the gigantic house we rented near Sugarloaf. I went snowshoeing, and didn't even make too big an ass of out myself. Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to ski for the second time ever: that will probably prove hilarious for all, photos will come when I get back to the city. We have a big heated pool that looks out in the snowy mass that is our yard, full of elaborate snow forts that the boys built, and a few 4 foot deep holes where I sunk all the way in. The house is big and quirky, and has some pretty ridiculous flaws, but plenty of bedrooms and couches and a huge kitchen and downstairs den--and a pingpong table, where I routinely get schooled but am amping up my level of competition. Danielle's venturing up from the city tonight, and we come back Thursday, in time for me to help out at a high school Model UN conference back at NU, and pull my life together over the weekend.

It's comfortable here. It's nice to be with kids I've known for so long--no pressure, nothing crazy, just hanging out, enjoying what I've realized is the last traditional spring break we'll all be able to take together before real jobs, people leaving for grad school elsewhere, and other typical post-grad scatter. On that note--back to sitting on the couch with them. :)

Definitions

Senioritis

Definition: the ability to convince oneself that going out on a Wednesday night is infinitely more important than a philosophy paper worth at least 20% of a class grade.

Additional facets: when the paper is due in less than 2 hours, and you are on facebook, twitter, or, even better, blogging about your inability to care about the paper or any other school work.

One step further: staring out the window is far more preferable/rational/productive than referencing philosophers on the subject of natural rights.

Synonyms: apathy, alcoholism, oblivion.
Antonyms: productivity, A+ on that paper.

Use it in a sentence: Marisa's senioritis led her to imbibe many delicious cocktails with her friends on a weeknight, kept her convinced that her philosophy paper wouldn't matter in 10 years, a month, or tomorrow, and helped her justify sleeping in on top of it all. NU 09.

[to make myself feel better, I am reminding everyone that I do have almost 100% in Legal Argumentation, for what that's worth.]

Positivity and Shoes

"And the less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine."
-indigo girls-

We had a really good, positive executive eboard meeting last night. There has been some really tricky conflict in the group this semester, with some opposition, passive aggression, and lots of bitching behind everyone's back. My actions definitely played a role in some of the negativity. Everything came to a bit of a head during the Harvard Model UN conference a week or two ago, forcing us to confront some of the clashing of minds.

By acknowledging the friction, we can actually deal with the issues head on, and it was necessary to put the issue out in the open. The stress wasn't so much with each other as with some of the problems the organization is dealing with this semester. We all discussed the need to see each other as resources and walls to bounce ideas and stress off, and reminded ourselves that even if we yell or get upset about something, it shouldn't get personal and we should be more of a support for other eboard members.

After we put the tension issue out in the open, it made it a lot easier to interact without the hedging, combative doubletalk we'd been dealing with. A lot more laughing, a lot more understanding, and a smoother path to accomplishing tasks and working through the myriad to-do items for the United Nations Association. I'm hoping it stays like this: we all work hard and care about the goals and members of the organization, and it's a lot more fun when we're not snarking at each other and can work together more happily.


Random piece of advice: if your shoes hurt, but your day isn't over yet, don't bother taking them off. It will only hurt worse when you have to put them back on. ahhhhhhh.

Rainy Sunday Musings

Update on my life status:

1. Did not get an interview for the first job I applied for/actually wanted. Disappointing.
   
2. Have since sent in two more applications, and have notes on another half dozen job postings of interest to get started on. Let's cross fingers and toes for at least an interview sometime in the next month. [as I was writing this, one of the places I applied emailed to say they just filled the position. Sweet....]
   
3. Signed my lease in Coolidge Corner! Bon and I (and Toomey for the summer) will be in Brookline until August 2010 as it currently stands. We have plans for lovely home design, good lighting, big bookshelves, and maybe a cat! Lots of updates on apartment-related things to come--I've never lived off-campus except for a sublet, and I have myriad ideas.
   
4. Lots and lots of "Oh good, I'm not the only crazy one" conversations. We're all at bizarre places in life right now, and it's good to know I have plenty of solid company in overanalysis and procrastination.
5. People are getting engaged and getting pregnant (separate people, no shotgun weddings in my crowd yet). I still think of everyone I know as approximately 16 and therefore not in any sort of position for those things. But babies are cute, even if it freaks me out watching people I know holding them (I would post the picture of Leif with the baby Nikki nannies for if it didn't make me laugh so hard. I might still.)
   
6. I am having the strongest travel urges lately. Part of me hopes I DON'T get a job right away, and would then have an excuse to just buy a plane ticket and a nice camera and disappear for a little while. Sites like The Big Picture make me want to take the kinds of photos that inspire emotion and a different way of understanding things.
7. Trying to solve my constant indecision/grass-is-always-greener problem. I can see the pros and cons of almost anything, and I need to find a few anchoring principles to try and cut the internal haggling down a little.
8. Getting off of campus more often. Sam and I went to see Arusi Persian Wedding at the Boston Public Library yesterday, and also picked up information for some events going on for International Women's Day in March. When I worked at the Women and Public Policy Program at the Kennedy School, they put on some great programming, and I'd love to check out some of it there and around the city this year.

Off to a United Nations Association executive board meeting...it'll be strange to end my involvement on campus when I graduate, but also freeing after putting hours and hours of time into it for five years...

What I'm Reading

Adding various things to my Google reader today, and came across a bunch of great sites and blogs that I'm looking forward to reading more of.

Although this Incomplete Manifesto is from a design company called Bruce Mau Design, I think many of the points are so applicable to lots of processes, creative or otherwise. Particular favorites include:

• Don't Clean Your Desk: You might find something in the morning that you can’t see tonight.
• Take Field Trips: The bandwidth of the world is greater than that of your TV set, or the Internet, or even a totally immersive, interactive, dynamically rendered, object-oriented, real-time, computer graphic–simulated environment.
• Break it, stretch it, bend it, crush it, crack it, fold it
• Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child): Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.

Other sites I'm intrigued by:

• White Hot Truth
• Daily Poetics
  
• The Happiness Project: especially because we've been trying to update The Happy List more often. Figuring out what makes you happy helps you to remember to do it.
• Wanting to read more of Bob Sutton's workplace blog too. So many conversations I've had lately about jobs and the future have circled back to wanting to work in a good environment, for a good boss, as a good employee, and what all of that means.

(One more set of interesting rules from Daily Poetics: Immaculate Heart College Art Department)

What are you reading? Any good suggestions? Also recently launched, if you're looking for a good way to get into reading print materials and not just blogs: The Twitter Book Club! Check out the first book announcement and get involved!

I spy, with my little eye...

I really like people. And watching them. And listening. And asking questions. And figuring out how they all interact with one another. Lots of good ways to do all of those things.

Favorite experience today: watching a pair of deaf men signing at dinner in the South End tonight. Between their amazingly expressive faces, rapid and energetic signs, and the clear chemistry and rapport between them (couldn't tell if they were in a platonic or romantic relationship), I could barely keep myself from staring at their fantastic conversation.

Next to them was a large table of about a dozen men (not to stereotype, but we were at Francesca's, on Tremont, on a Friday night, most likely a gay crowd), whose appearances ranged from preppy to gauged ears to fauxhawks to trenchcoats. They were laughing and flirting and carrying on, didn't care how big a scene they made.

I wonder what I looked like to the surroundings tonight. At the open studios we went to, we were fairly obvious in our checking-out of the artists and the crowds, and openly commenting, sometimes knowledgably, sometimes not, about lots of pieces. I know plenty about jewelry and nothing about paintings, Kate's been checking out more galleries lately. At dinner, Kate and I rambled through a bizarre range of topics, texting and googling things. I knew one of the waiters, so he gave me a backrub, demonstrated the latest dance he'd learned, and fawned over us. We ate all sorts of random things, topped off with take-out containers of cake. Lots of laughing, but also lots of getting really worked up about a few subjects. Wonder if anyone watching thought we were students or professionals, silly or smart, interesting or vapid, pretty or plain, boring or invested.

I think I learn a lot about myself and my community by actively observing--how else can you get such a good sense of people's behavior, especially when they're not always aware of being watched?

Eeeeek.

I missed a day. Been trying to write every day, and just noticed it's 12:09 am. Booooo.

Stealing a concept from Pursue the Passion, and writing 5 things I'm excited about on a Friday:

1. A grownup apartment!! So soon!
   
2. Taking yoga classes. I've only gone to two so far, but I feel so much more centered and relaxed after each class. An hour where I only focus on my body and my breathing takes some pressure off of my poor brain
3. Liking my new roommates! I'm always ambivalent about getting new randoms, but as usual, I've been proved too cynical, and the three new girls are laidback and funny and easy to live with
4. My new haircut--chopped off 8.5 inches to donate to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths program, in memory of my friend Eric who passed away from leukemia this fall. It was an emotional thing to do for that reason, and cutting off my hair always feels like a good catalyst for change in my life as well.
5. My mom's second-round interview for a sweet job. She's so smart and interested/interesting, but hasn't had a full-time job in a while--spent time taking care of me and my brother, and working part-time for my dad's jewelry business. She's both an architect and an attorney though, and is getting back into the workforce, looking to do consulting and contract work. First round went well, and I'm excited for the next round on Monday for her! It's funny with us both looking for jobs at the same time. It's been a while since she's done it, and I had to remind her about things she didn't have to consider last time, like following up via email a week later, since things get lost in inboxes so easily.
6. And a sixth for good measure: my best friend Val got into Columbia's Physical Therapy program!

Friday's my day off--hoping it's sunny and productive. And not thigh-freezingly cold.

Exciting Grownup Things!

In procrastinating on the job hunt, I've resorted to apartment searching! (I will pay for my new cute apartment with my non-existent paycheck! Yay!)

Bonnie and I settled on Coolidge Corner for our area, and we saw three apartments last week, and have appointments to see three more Thursday night/tomorrow. Bonnie was my freshman/middler year roommate, and one of the only people I could live with again (a few of my former roommates also make that shortlist <3). We've got the same goals for an apartment, and the patience with each other to make living with each other a fairly good idea.

Top characteristics our dream apartment will have: (We've had decent luck thus far)

• 2 spacious bedrooms: enough room for queen beds
• closet space! Both in and out of the bedrooms--we both have a lot of STUFF, but like all of the stuff to have specific living places
• open, airy kitchen. We both like to cook and entertain, and a kitchen that connects with the living space and allows interaction with guests is a huge plus
• natural light, and lots of it
• NOT a million-floor walk-up. Elevator, or 1st/2nd floor, por favor
• close to Coolidge Corner, and well as a C and/or D-line T-stop: need places nearby for when we don't want to be in our beautiful new apartment, or need to run errands.

We'd also love the option to paint our space, and a balcony or patio would be a lovely bonus. It's the first time either of us has really lived off-campus other than a short sublet though. We're trying to not jump the gun and take the first cute place we see, and ask lots of questions, take photos, and scope out potential flaws in any place we check out. A learning process.

I've also been scanning lots of home/design websites...I know I want a queen sized bed. I know I want fabulous bookshelves and lighting--both of those are funky European examples of things I will hopefully be able to afford in the future. I want to be able to hang my colorful jewelry and scarves on the wall as decoration, and have plenty of wall space to tack up the hundreds of magazine clippings, postcards, scribbled notes, and photos that inspire me and get me going. The space to fold and organize my ludicrous amount of clothing would be unbelievable.

After 5 years in fairly homogeneous spaces at NU, and living with random roommates for a year or two, I'm looking forward to really making my own space. Graduating and starting fresh in a new place at the same time will be a little shock to the system, but doing both at once will help make the shift seem more concrete. (And a new bed! A big bed!!)

Seriously? Seriously.

Dating A Banker Anonymous

In one word....
Horrifying.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'd love to live a mildly extravagant life. I like nice clothes, good food, luxurious settings. But I also like to think I like people for who they are, not what they're worth. I'm also obnoxiously independent--the thought of relying on someone else's net worth for my enjoyment out of life is petrifying. If I'm going to live in a fancy world, I'd better be able to handle it on my own dime: reliance on other people is not my thing.

As the daughter of a luxury goods retailer, I know how this economy works people's emotions and stress levels. Nobody in any business likes coming home in a bad mood because they can't pay the office bills, or because they lost a huge account or millions of dollars for a client. Last thing someone in bad work straits wants? A person they thought loved them, not their wallet, freaking out over fewer vacations in Maui or no Fendi bag for their birthday.

I know to some, this economy feels like a bad joke that will eventually play out and go away. I personally haven't felt it like others have, but I've witnessed some of the problems second-hand. DABA girls: go back to sleep, and wake up on a different side of the bed (an empty bed, most likely, since your financier boyfriends should leave you in the dust for your poor behavior). Go out and work hard at your own job, buy your own drinks for once, and text your ex something encouraging to get him through the next bad day. You better hope he forgives you. You should hope he'll buy you a pity drink when you lose your job in fashion PR or spa services, and have gone through a few more finance guys on hard times willing to put up with your crap.

Cover Letters = On Their Way Out

When (not if) I am in charge of a company or business, I will never ask for cover letters. Resumes, ok, maybe. Just so I can justify hires to other, less creative folk. However. Some other item submission will be substituted. Options thus far include:

• papier mache
• haikus
• wire sculpture
• colorful acrostic poems
• collages (please let all glue dry before sending in)
• videos
• short story
• cartoon
• song
• dance
• mural
• torn-out notebook page with impressive doodles.

Cover letters are all hot air. I'd rather submit a Post-it Note flipbook cartoon. I'd hire me.

Going Professional

I'm trying to revamp my resume. Boost my job image. Get myself hired. Not be homeless and jobless effective May 1st.

Like every Northeastern student ever, I have a resume that sums up my basic experiences at jobs and internships and touts my decent GPA. There's an application deadline at the end of the week for a non-profit consultancy job (one-year duration, some business classes provided, menial (but at least existent) salary, and health insurance provided). A connection at the company warned me that HR is potentially looking for people with work experience, even though the program is geared towards new young professionals.

My goal is to highlight the work experience I have managed to obtain during 5 years at Northeastern. Even though I'll be a new grad, my resume doesn't resemble it. However, my current resume doesn't pop. I've looked at it so many times that it's more likely grey words than anything engaging or active. There are a few tactics I'm trying though:

• Stronger, more active verbs at the beginning of all my bullets. I want words more representative of the activity they are referencing: create = not specific. Participate = lame. Good verbs are hard to come by, however.
  
• More quantifiable terms. Created something? What number of something? For how many people? In what span of time? Did I come in way under the deadline?
• Specific skills I want to highlight: supervising interns, copyediting and proofreading a publication, managing several projects at once reliably,
• Social Media: my knowledge of and interest in blogs, Twitter, and other forms of marketing and communication
• My range of experience: while it may seem slightly less focused than the resume of a business major or engineer, I think my strength at any job will lie in my familiarity with multiple fields and skills.
  

Suggestions? Willing to read and comment on my resume? Any skills I might not be thinking of that you would either want to see as an employer or know I have as an acquaintance?

Being in the Now

Quick post (a paper for school beckons):

One of my favorite things in the entire world is being surrounded by the people I love. We packed 30 people into a living room to watch the Steelers/Cardinals Super Bowl. I'm from Pittsburgh, and so I'm clearly a Stillers fan. But the best part was the atmosphere. The older we get, and the more settled down/in relationships/scattered around the country my group gets, the more rare big group settings are. Being curled up in close quarters, laughing at mostly nothing, and just enjoying being together: sure, it's very Jewish mother-hen of me, but there's really nothing that's much higher on my list in life. I spend a lot of time thinking about the future lately, but sometimes, I just love the present.

Big Fish, Shrinking Pond?

Either the world's shrinking or we're getting bigger. Maybe both.

My roommate from freshman year, Bonnie, and I are apartment-hunting for post-grad. Our primary area for a place is Coolidge Corner. We both remember thinking how far away Mission Hill was from our freshman dorm 5 years ago, and now it seems like a quick walk. Coolidge Corner is sort of the same phenomenon. We still have lots of friends who see it as distant from our Back Bay/Fenway area, but since it was so clear/fairly warm today, we walked home down Longwood. The walk took less than half an hour.

Coolidge Corner, the Harvard Ave/Allston area, Brookline Village---all much closer than we realize, especially when walking or bussing. Taking the Green line inbound to go outbound, or walking to Hynes, makes the distances seem irrationally long. We all have a tendency to get caged in by the weather, but over the past few years in warm seasons here, it's interesting to find out how small and dense a city we live in. None of the distances are great, you can walk home from Harvard Square or the North End if you're feeling ambitious, and there's lots of great neighborhoods dotting the city. With the advent of GoogleMaps and IPhones, etc, there's no excuse not to wander and find all the great new places in your area, whether

It's not just a small physical world though. I stopped in at a friend's apartment the other night, and spotted a vaguely familiar face. Turns out it's a kid who was in a class I had dropped. We start talking, and I figure out another way I knew of him: another friend had suggested I get in touch with him last semester to work on a Model UN-related project. We exchanged contact info, and are planning to coordinate. Lots of my networks overlap, I run into people I know in odd places all over the city, and I'm hoping the networking pays off as the job search continues.

6 degrees of separation? It's been more like 1.5 lately. Maybe we just know all the right people, so they all know each other.

I like that my world is expanding, physically and personally, especially as I'm getting ready to graduate. I'm poised to get out of the college bubble and see the city and my network and my goals in an alternate light. I'm not content to stay in the same neighborhood. I'm loving meeting new people left and right. I'm starting to find job opportunities that speak to me. I'm figuring out how to present myself as the best person for the job. I don't want to leave my smaller world behind--I want to put it in my pocket and take it with me.