A Change of Mental Scenery

I always end up at the same local coffee shop to do work: Espresso Royale. Sometimes, it's a little counter-productive because so many people I know head there too, or stop in simply because they know I'll be camped out there. I don't concentrate as well in my apartment because I always have the temptation to reorganize, curl up on the foof and watch tv with the roommates, or crawl into my bed to sleep.

However, lately I've had difficulty focusing anywhere. Danielle (www.beingabeginner.blogspot.com), suggested setting concrete blocks of time for specific tasks, and not veering into tryng to multi-task or do multiple other things in a short span of time. [Like right now, I should be writing my philosophy paper on civil disobedience. But I'm blogging. Because that's semi-productive, too, right? Ugh].

Sometimes the library works. Sometimes setting goals, like announcing to myself that I can't read the new Wired until I've written xxxx number of words for a paper, or can't go to sleep until I've replied to all my actually important emails, is the solution. But sometimes, its like there's no getting anything real done. And it's frustrating.

Part of it is that my mind has been all over the place lately. Part of it is that I can't seem to prioritize my to-do lists in any way, shape, or form. What comes first? Getting in shape? Keeping in touch? Finding a job? Apartment? Schoolwork? Stuff for my dad? Sleeping? Freaking out about the future? Usually, the last one takes priority in some combination with one or two of the others as background.

Reading has been helping settle me, however. The Witch of Portobello and Eat Pray Love both have passages that caught my frenetic little mind and clarified a few things. The Witch of Portobello, by Paulo Coelho, talks about learning to be ok with the blank spaces in your life. I have a very hard time actually doing nothing, so instead I fill my time trying to do multiple things at once. Extremely unproductive. So. My current theory is to learn to love the blank spaces--meaning, when I have time to breathe, time to think, time to be, I won't try to multi-task. And maybe, in time, it will help streamline the rest of my productive time.

Ramble, complete.

In other news: Some Reasons to Blog. I think I'm going to try to ramp up my efforts here. We will see how it goes.

Not falling apart

My happy list post today just proves to me that a lot of what stresses me out is just in my head. Even with a week as stressful as the last one or two have been, there's so many little (and big) things that should keep me from blowing up.

The weekend with the London ladies was exactly what I needed: some of my favorite people, in my favorite city, and all we had to have to make a good time was each other! We ate and drank and shopped and napped and caught up and LAUGHED! Emily's parents treated us to Maroon 5 tickets out in Mansfield, which was an unexpectedly wonderful night--Adam Levine is gorgeous, and I'd forgotten how much I love their music.

This week is all about trying to take a deep breath and not overinvest myself. I stepped down as the chair of a committee for Generation Progress, a PAC/networking organization launched by a friend. I'll remain involved, but wised up and took a leadership load off. I'm almost at the end of all the summer orientation fairs for freshmen, and onto some of the final preparations for the student groups I run. I'm also freelancing right now, and am quite a bit behind on my hours, but I'll hopefully get around to it this week and the next.

Starting/continuing to ponder jobs. This internship has been a minor-league disaster. Jobs and bosses and work always make me think about how I'd do it better as either an employee or a boss in another instance. I really want to own my own company eventually--not sure what the mission would be, but I've been talking about creating the ultimate work environment obsessively lately. Grad school's also in the back of my mind. My poor buzzing mind.

I booked tickets home for two weeks from now, and tickets to Tampa to see my grandmother right before classes start in September. Classes start?! Eek. Still trying to figure out what my 4th class is going to be: options I've found range from journalism on the web to psychobiology to Islam. We'll see what I pick.

Taking.
Deep.
Breaths.

I think that's the top priority on my long to-do list. That, and remembering to focus on the happy things.