a smidge overwhelmed
but we all know how i love the manic
wishing i didnt feel so down regarding the/a boy
optimistic about my classes
ambivalent about plenty of things
missing some people and family at home
wishing i felt less all over the place
glad i have my independence
a little sad that no relationship has a major pull on my time
needing more sunshine in my life
ready for some real life responsibility
in need of a goal/purpose beyond the immediate future
absolutely craving affection/sex/anything in that category
proud and embarrassed that i let myself open up a little
wanting to both move on and never let go
not quite ready to grow up. or am i.
feeling a little too observatory/girl in a fishbowl at times
how connected are we all, really? or all we are just moving around and past each other?
Monday, September 15, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
letting it go
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said
today = brunch. beach. brain on fire.
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said
today = brunch. beach. brain on fire.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
of mice and men and interns and clarity
If I've learned one thing from my myriad internships and jobs, its that I want to be a good supervisor. A good boss. A good coworker. Someone that helps to shape a positive, enjoyable, productive work environment.
A job isn't just the task at hand--its something that consumes hours of lives, a purpose behind a drive, and also affects the lifestyle and mental state of the worker, beyond the effect the actual work done in work hours has on a business or on clients or on the world.
It doesn't take much to be a pleasant part of an office. In all honesty, I think it takes more effort to be curt, brusque, unfriendly, unhelpful, uninviting, and cold. By chatting with coworkers, smiling, editing others' work or taking on a project someone can't handle, inviting someone for lunch or coffee, offering to pick up something or run an errand for a busy boss, or answering the simplest or toughest of questions, you can make a huge difference in the comfort level of a work environment.
Encouraging workers to take a break, rather than chaining them to a desk forcefully or subconsciously, is another great way to boost morale--even the most motivated people can't focus for 8 hours a day--why make them try? Condone coffee breaks, and employee bonding. Happy employees do more work. Angry employees will procrastinate and do mediocre work.
Don't discourage dialogue. Don't ever make someone feel stupid for asking a question, because one day, that person will be too cowed to ask a question, and you might not like the result of the work they do without questioning.
Also, just remember things. Not big things, but you know, when your intern is coming into the office, or when their last day is. Just one of those ways to make employees feel valued.
that's it for now. something more coherent later--I want to read more about workplace theory at bigger companies, or more productive companies.
A job isn't just the task at hand--its something that consumes hours of lives, a purpose behind a drive, and also affects the lifestyle and mental state of the worker, beyond the effect the actual work done in work hours has on a business or on clients or on the world.
It doesn't take much to be a pleasant part of an office. In all honesty, I think it takes more effort to be curt, brusque, unfriendly, unhelpful, uninviting, and cold. By chatting with coworkers, smiling, editing others' work or taking on a project someone can't handle, inviting someone for lunch or coffee, offering to pick up something or run an errand for a busy boss, or answering the simplest or toughest of questions, you can make a huge difference in the comfort level of a work environment.
Encouraging workers to take a break, rather than chaining them to a desk forcefully or subconsciously, is another great way to boost morale--even the most motivated people can't focus for 8 hours a day--why make them try? Condone coffee breaks, and employee bonding. Happy employees do more work. Angry employees will procrastinate and do mediocre work.
Don't discourage dialogue. Don't ever make someone feel stupid for asking a question, because one day, that person will be too cowed to ask a question, and you might not like the result of the work they do without questioning.
Also, just remember things. Not big things, but you know, when your intern is coming into the office, or when their last day is. Just one of those ways to make employees feel valued.
that's it for now. something more coherent later--I want to read more about workplace theory at bigger companies, or more productive companies.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
our need for definitions
dating. seeing each other. relationship. boyfriend. hanging out. whatever. hooking up.
why do we feel the need to define (or not define) our romantic/sexual relationships so much? the range from immediate serious relationship to serious commitment-phobe within my group of friends makes for interesting gossip and conversations.
a friend of mine feels "dating" is too serious a term for what he and a new interest are doing--but aren't they going on dates? my silliness lately, when contrasted to recent engagements in my crowd, seems overblown.
do we seek to define because it gives us security? do we leave things undefined because definition might mean we care? do we wait to see if someone else defines first as part of a power struggle? leave things loose so we don't lose pride if it doesn't work out?
why do we feel the need to define (or not define) our romantic/sexual relationships so much? the range from immediate serious relationship to serious commitment-phobe within my group of friends makes for interesting gossip and conversations.
a friend of mine feels "dating" is too serious a term for what he and a new interest are doing--but aren't they going on dates? my silliness lately, when contrasted to recent engagements in my crowd, seems overblown.
do we seek to define because it gives us security? do we leave things undefined because definition might mean we care? do we wait to see if someone else defines first as part of a power struggle? leave things loose so we don't lose pride if it doesn't work out?
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Not falling apart
My happy list post today just proves to me that a lot of what stresses me out is just in my head. Even with a week as stressful as the last one or two have been, there's so many little (and big) things that should keep me from blowing up.
The weekend with the London ladies was exactly what I needed: some of my favorite people, in my favorite city, and all we had to have to make a good time was each other! We ate and drank and shopped and napped and caught up and LAUGHED! Emily's parents treated us to Maroon 5 tickets out in Mansfield, which was an unexpectedly wonderful night--Adam Levine is gorgeous, and I'd forgotten how much I love their music.
This week is all about trying to take a deep breath and not overinvest myself. I stepped down as the chair of a committee for Generation Progress, a PAC/networking organization launched by a friend. I'll remain involved, but wised up and took a leadership load off. I'm almost at the end of all the summer orientation fairs for freshmen, and onto some of the final preparations for the student groups I run. I'm also freelancing right now, and am quite a bit behind on my hours, but I'll hopefully get around to it this week and the next.
Starting/continuing to ponder jobs. This internship has been a minor-league disaster. Jobs and bosses and work always make me think about how I'd do it better as either an employee or a boss in another instance. I really want to own my own company eventually--not sure what the mission would be, but I've been talking about creating the ultimate work environment obsessively lately. Grad school's also in the back of my mind. My poor buzzing mind.
I booked tickets home for two weeks from now, and tickets to Tampa to see my grandmother right before classes start in September. Classes start?! Eek. Still trying to figure out what my 4th class is going to be: options I've found range from journalism on the web to psychobiology to Islam. We'll see what I pick.
Taking.
Deep.
Breaths.
I think that's the top priority on my long to-do list. That, and remembering to focus on the happy things.
The weekend with the London ladies was exactly what I needed: some of my favorite people, in my favorite city, and all we had to have to make a good time was each other! We ate and drank and shopped and napped and caught up and LAUGHED! Emily's parents treated us to Maroon 5 tickets out in Mansfield, which was an unexpectedly wonderful night--Adam Levine is gorgeous, and I'd forgotten how much I love their music.
This week is all about trying to take a deep breath and not overinvest myself. I stepped down as the chair of a committee for Generation Progress, a PAC/networking organization launched by a friend. I'll remain involved, but wised up and took a leadership load off. I'm almost at the end of all the summer orientation fairs for freshmen, and onto some of the final preparations for the student groups I run. I'm also freelancing right now, and am quite a bit behind on my hours, but I'll hopefully get around to it this week and the next.
Starting/continuing to ponder jobs. This internship has been a minor-league disaster. Jobs and bosses and work always make me think about how I'd do it better as either an employee or a boss in another instance. I really want to own my own company eventually--not sure what the mission would be, but I've been talking about creating the ultimate work environment obsessively lately. Grad school's also in the back of my mind. My poor buzzing mind.
I booked tickets home for two weeks from now, and tickets to Tampa to see my grandmother right before classes start in September. Classes start?! Eek. Still trying to figure out what my 4th class is going to be: options I've found range from journalism on the web to psychobiology to Islam. We'll see what I pick.
Taking.
Deep.
Breaths.
I think that's the top priority on my long to-do list. That, and remembering to focus on the happy things.
Friday, August 1, 2008
lets have a conversation...
this was quite possibly one of the worst weeks ive had in quite some time.
tomorrow will be better, because it has to be.
one nice thing, is when your chips are down, you do realize how wonderful your friends really are, not to be toooo cliche.
i need to reset, shed some responsibility, and really take care of myself for once. and not just say it, but do it. otherwise, we're going to have a problem.
tomorrow will be better, because it has to be.
one nice thing, is when your chips are down, you do realize how wonderful your friends really are, not to be toooo cliche.
i need to reset, shed some responsibility, and really take care of myself for once. and not just say it, but do it. otherwise, we're going to have a problem.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I can see the whole city from the top of my building...
So I've switched gears.
I'm working for a lobbying/consulting group that has clients seeking change on the state legislative level. It's letting me get a closer look at yet another thing I could do with my soon-to-be-achieved BS (any irony here?) in political science. I've worked at the MA State House before, but for a senator, and it's a way different world as a lobbyist. We have about a dozen active clients, all seeking either budget earmarks (we successfully passed every earmark we lobbied for--the governor didn't line-item veto any of them this month!) or seeking support for legislation. I'm not sure how I feel about lobbying, tactics, or the entire field of elected politics right now. July has been one crazy month, and the legislative session 2007-2008 ends Thursday, when its do-or-die for every bill thats been raised in the last two years. Same-day election day registration is a big cause in the state right now, and we're involved. August will be crazy quiet in the office after all the legislative hubbub is over, but they want me to help redo their marketing materials, which will be good experience.
I also picked up a freelance gig working for a new website called www.povo.com--check it out! Kind of cross between Yelp and Wikipedia. More on that later...
I'm working for a lobbying/consulting group that has clients seeking change on the state legislative level. It's letting me get a closer look at yet another thing I could do with my soon-to-be-achieved BS (any irony here?) in political science. I've worked at the MA State House before, but for a senator, and it's a way different world as a lobbyist. We have about a dozen active clients, all seeking either budget earmarks (we successfully passed every earmark we lobbied for--the governor didn't line-item veto any of them this month!) or seeking support for legislation. I'm not sure how I feel about lobbying, tactics, or the entire field of elected politics right now. July has been one crazy month, and the legislative session 2007-2008 ends Thursday, when its do-or-die for every bill thats been raised in the last two years. Same-day election day registration is a big cause in the state right now, and we're involved. August will be crazy quiet in the office after all the legislative hubbub is over, but they want me to help redo their marketing materials, which will be good experience.
I also picked up a freelance gig working for a new website called www.povo.com--check it out! Kind of cross between Yelp and Wikipedia. More on that later...
Monday, July 21, 2008
what if?
its that time of the year--im overanalyzing.
go out? stay in?
sleep? work out?
job? suntan?
beach? city?
flipflops? heels?
nerd it up? drink harder?
look for love? enjoy being selfish?
criticize? ignore?
try to fix the flaws? look for just the good in things?
ambition? enjoy the little things?
care for myself more? care for others more?
the big picture? the short-term?
keep making to-do lists? just turn my brain off?
in other news:
i'm definitely scanning the internet for post-grad jobs in london.
im way excited to be on campus for classes in the fall.
im loving summer in the city: bars, free live music, life chats over coffee or champagne, long walks in the south end.
im trying to say yes to most things this summer.
rihanna is the current musical guilty pleasure.
late nights on porches make long days at the internship worthwhile.
summer tans and dirty feet are good for the soul.
i'm proud of my brother for deciding to go to california in the fall, and looking forward to watching him love college like i have.
living by the water is essential to my sanity.
laughing in the back corner at work with the interns is so gratifying.
i know i made the right choice in coming to boston for 4 years so far.
go out? stay in?
sleep? work out?
job? suntan?
beach? city?
flipflops? heels?
nerd it up? drink harder?
look for love? enjoy being selfish?
criticize? ignore?
try to fix the flaws? look for just the good in things?
ambition? enjoy the little things?
care for myself more? care for others more?
the big picture? the short-term?
keep making to-do lists? just turn my brain off?
in other news:
i'm definitely scanning the internet for post-grad jobs in london.
im way excited to be on campus for classes in the fall.
im loving summer in the city: bars, free live music, life chats over coffee or champagne, long walks in the south end.
im trying to say yes to most things this summer.
rihanna is the current musical guilty pleasure.
late nights on porches make long days at the internship worthwhile.
summer tans and dirty feet are good for the soul.
i'm proud of my brother for deciding to go to california in the fall, and looking forward to watching him love college like i have.
living by the water is essential to my sanity.
laughing in the back corner at work with the interns is so gratifying.
i know i made the right choice in coming to boston for 4 years so far.
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