If you're in charge, you must know what you're doing.
If you're not in charge, you don't know what you're doing yet.
If you're single, you're lonely or a wild child or a commitment phobe.
If you're in a relationship, you're lame or domestic or want to have babies soon.
If you look put together, you must have your shit together.
If you're settled down, you're boring.
If you refuse to settle down, you'll never find what you're looking for.
If you're loud, you're confident.
If you're quiet, you're shy.
If you're skinny and pretty, you're happy.
If you're not skinny and pretty, you'll never find love or happiness.
If you're not tired, you shouldn't sleep.
Travel is for the rich.
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