- Google Calendar. Runs my life. If you have Gmail and don't use the calendar, I am mystified by you.
- Tomorrow's yoga class--last one for the semester, but learning and remembering to focus on my breathing has probably saved my sanity the last few weeks. An hour a week where all I do is focus on my body and my breathing is amazing.
- Tonight's new Gossip Girl. Utter, utter trash. It's like fashion porn, and it's an hour of escapism. Similar to yoga, in that it allows time to focus on things other than current stressors.
- Going to DC on Wednesday. We're taking an overnight train: I loveee trains. And getting out of Boston means a mental scene change. It's my last Nationals conference for Model Arab League, and we have a great team going.
- My last day of college classes ever is three weeks from today. I just realized that. Wow. Wow.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday
Things that will help me make it through the week:
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Always Take the Higher Road
Lesson learned in the past few years: whenever I look back on a conflict situation, I always wish I had taken the higher road. Been the better woman. Left the petty things behind. Thought before I spoke. Kept my mouth firmly shut.
It's easy to mouth off. It's easy to make noise. It's never as easy to make amends, to apologize, or to make the other person understand why you had such a visceral reaction to something. I'm not saying the high road is the least painful road at the time. And I'm not saying that you can't still think the other person involved is completely and totally wrong. But if you make the scene, you de-legitimize your complaint. You look [and eventually] feel like you're more at fault than the other contributor. And it's fairly painful to remove your foot, or even your whole leg, from your figurative mouth.
Always be the better person. You already know you are, so just remember to act like it.
It's easy to mouth off. It's easy to make noise. It's never as easy to make amends, to apologize, or to make the other person understand why you had such a visceral reaction to something. I'm not saying the high road is the least painful road at the time. And I'm not saying that you can't still think the other person involved is completely and totally wrong. But if you make the scene, you de-legitimize your complaint. You look [and eventually] feel like you're more at fault than the other contributor. And it's fairly painful to remove your foot, or even your whole leg, from your figurative mouth.
Always be the better person. You already know you are, so just remember to act like it.
A little introspection never hurt....right?
I'm feeling very "work in progress" lately. The next month or two is all about wrapping up and starting over, basically at the same time, and it's causing a little bit of difficulty figuring out what to do and when. For a girl who's always a little indecisive when it comes to the big things, and who has trouble with change when its not on my own terms, it's been a little rough. My moods have been swinging, my behavior a little erratic, and introspection has been pretty heavy for me. Don't think introspection has led to any new conclusions: only new forms of crazy and indecisive as I come up with more things to think about. And I know this isn't any unique or defining state of being--I think that's been even harder on all of us, in some respects. Almost nobody in my life is grounded and sane enough to be a rock at the moment, so we all end up bearing the craziness on our own, reaching out to each other as best we can while trying not to add to each other's mental confusion. Between the economy, the job hunt, changes of location, and relationship dynamics [platonic and otherwise], we all have our emotional plates pretty full--and are wishing anyone else's plate looked attractive enough to pick a bite off of.
I don't mean to sound so melodramatic--but it's that quarter-life crisis time. Tomorrow morning, the mood will have swung, and I'll be day dreaming about my gorgeous new apartment, ignoring that I need to find a job to pay the rent. I'll be googling jobs in London for next year, as opposed to finishing my philosophy paper. I'll be planning city adventures with friends that may not be in the city at all any more in 6 weeks. Sometimes, I think it's good to have mood swings. It makes you delve a little deeper, and realize that the flipside of the intense emotions, both good and bad, exist on almost every topic. I've gotten some criticism lately for taking things too seriously, or getting too emotional or vocal about situations. While I'm not sure I always pick the right way to express things [yelling when I'm angry, or being THE loudest laugh at the bar], I think my passion, in both directions, is an important part of me. I care pretty intensely about the things I'm involved in and the people in my life, and I usually choose to express that, rather than internalize it. It may get me in trouble from time to time, speaking my mind and my feelings, but I'd rather know I felt things. I've come a long way in the past 5 years in terms of how and when I say my piece, but lately, I think I've been hellbent on reminding myself that I care.
I don't mean to sound so melodramatic--but it's that quarter-life crisis time. Tomorrow morning, the mood will have swung, and I'll be day dreaming about my gorgeous new apartment, ignoring that I need to find a job to pay the rent. I'll be googling jobs in London for next year, as opposed to finishing my philosophy paper. I'll be planning city adventures with friends that may not be in the city at all any more in 6 weeks. Sometimes, I think it's good to have mood swings. It makes you delve a little deeper, and realize that the flipside of the intense emotions, both good and bad, exist on almost every topic. I've gotten some criticism lately for taking things too seriously, or getting too emotional or vocal about situations. While I'm not sure I always pick the right way to express things [yelling when I'm angry, or being THE loudest laugh at the bar], I think my passion, in both directions, is an important part of me. I care pretty intensely about the things I'm involved in and the people in my life, and I usually choose to express that, rather than internalize it. It may get me in trouble from time to time, speaking my mind and my feelings, but I'd rather know I felt things. I've come a long way in the past 5 years in terms of how and when I say my piece, but lately, I think I've been hellbent on reminding myself that I care.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Top Five Friday
1) The middle school teacher/advisor I talked to at the Model UN conference--she was busy looking up YouTube clips and other things online to help with a unit she's teaching, and telling me about getting grants/class time extensions to get more kids involved in their small school's MUN program. She's always so energetic and creative, and really dedicated to helping her kids learn and like it--not just swallow information verbatim and pass the MCAS
2) Not needing a coat today: a welcome change from 4 feet of snow and frigid Maine (although I miss the heated pool and comfy couches)
3) Having one more weekend of spring break before returning to the grind--some time to pull my life together and catch up on things.
4) My new business cards! Some are green with white font, and the other set are Moo Cards, and have different photos on the back that I took myself. Ask me for one!
5) Plans for the month of March! St. Patrick's Day, visiting Linda in Philly, Washington DC. As much as I love Boston, changes of scenery are great, and seeing people I miss is fantastic. On tap for the next few months: California, South Dakota, probably Pittsburgh.
2) Not needing a coat today: a welcome change from 4 feet of snow and frigid Maine (although I miss the heated pool and comfy couches)
3) Having one more weekend of spring break before returning to the grind--some time to pull my life together and catch up on things.
4) My new business cards! Some are green with white font, and the other set are Moo Cards, and have different photos on the back that I took myself. Ask me for one!
5) Plans for the month of March! St. Patrick's Day, visiting Linda in Philly, Washington DC. As much as I love Boston, changes of scenery are great, and seeing people I miss is fantastic. On tap for the next few months: California, South Dakota, probably Pittsburgh.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Disconnect
We--a group of friends from freshman/sophomore year--are up in Maine for spring break. Sadly, no sunshine or beach time, but something almost better: no cell service! We have wireless, which is necessary for jobhunting/checking in with jobs some of us already work at, but the sheer delight of not having to answer my phone can't even be put into words. I'm sure when I turn it on as we head back to civilization Thursday it will practically explode with useless texts, tweets, and voicemails from the Northeastern Development office, wanting my nonexistant money. However, for now, I enjoy the snow, the comfy couches, the heated pool, and the disconnect from life in Boston.
There's about 4 feet of snow outside the gigantic house we rented near Sugarloaf. I went snowshoeing, and didn't even make too big an ass of out myself. Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to ski for the second time ever: that will probably prove hilarious for all, photos will come when I get back to the city. We have a big heated pool that looks out in the snowy mass that is our yard, full of elaborate snow forts that the boys built, and a few 4 foot deep holes where I sunk all the way in. The house is big and quirky, and has some pretty ridiculous flaws, but plenty of bedrooms and couches and a huge kitchen and downstairs den--and a pingpong table, where I routinely get schooled but am amping up my level of competition. Danielle's venturing up from the city tonight, and we come back Thursday, in time for me to help out at a high school Model UN conference back at NU, and pull my life together over the weekend.
It's comfortable here. It's nice to be with kids I've known for so long--no pressure, nothing crazy, just hanging out, enjoying what I've realized is the last traditional spring break we'll all be able to take together before real jobs, people leaving for grad school elsewhere, and other typical post-grad scatter. On that note--back to sitting on the couch with them. :)
There's about 4 feet of snow outside the gigantic house we rented near Sugarloaf. I went snowshoeing, and didn't even make too big an ass of out myself. Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to ski for the second time ever: that will probably prove hilarious for all, photos will come when I get back to the city. We have a big heated pool that looks out in the snowy mass that is our yard, full of elaborate snow forts that the boys built, and a few 4 foot deep holes where I sunk all the way in. The house is big and quirky, and has some pretty ridiculous flaws, but plenty of bedrooms and couches and a huge kitchen and downstairs den--and a pingpong table, where I routinely get schooled but am amping up my level of competition. Danielle's venturing up from the city tonight, and we come back Thursday, in time for me to help out at a high school Model UN conference back at NU, and pull my life together over the weekend.
It's comfortable here. It's nice to be with kids I've known for so long--no pressure, nothing crazy, just hanging out, enjoying what I've realized is the last traditional spring break we'll all be able to take together before real jobs, people leaving for grad school elsewhere, and other typical post-grad scatter. On that note--back to sitting on the couch with them. :)
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