in an effort to not scream....

here's a Friday top 5. or 10. It's the sort of week where it's important to remember the good things.

• amazing, amazing girlfriends (and guy friends, too)
  
• good weather for roadtrips
• people that you're willing to tell the truth to
• good hugs
• red wine and gin (not together, per se)
• roommates who are supportive during yelling and meltdowns
  
• having a really wonderful family
  
• snowboots that are actually waterproof
• furry earmuffs
• the thought of going to the gym tomorrow
• yoga breathing

Common Misconceptions

If you're in charge, you must know what you're doing.

If you're not in charge, you don't know what you're doing yet.

If you're single, you're lonely or a wild child or a commitment phobe.

If you're in a relationship, you're lame or domestic or want to have babies soon.

If you look put together, you must have your shit together.

If you're settled down, you're boring.

If you refuse to settle down, you'll never find what you're looking for.

If you're loud, you're confident.

If you're quiet, you're shy.

If you're skinny and pretty, you're happy.

If you're not skinny and pretty, you'll never find love or happiness.

If you're not tired, you shouldn't sleep.

Travel is for the rich.

Resolved.

2010 was the year of physical health. I've lost 1/6 of my body weight. Run 6 races. Dozens of miles. Hiked Mt. Washington. I even have biceps. And triceps. 2010? Great success.

2011 will be the year of emotional health. I don't want to be so cranky at work. I want to see the people I want to see as often as possible. I want to feel more fulfilled in my work life, my love life, and my "extra-curricular" life. I will spend time doing things that make me feel creative or inspired or productive or relaxed or just plain happy, as opposed to frustrated, antsy, or like I'm wasting my time. I will use the Oxford comma in my personal life, just because I can't at work. I will actively seek out new and fulfilling relationships in my life and maintain the ones that have become long-distance. I will sleep. I will continue to work out on a regular basis. I will luxuriate in the great things about Boston and find ways to go all the other places I love and will find out I love. I will eat delicious and healthy things but never begrudge myself a glass of wine with friends. I will focus on the positive, even if that means indulging in a good old-fashioned rant session to clear my head. I will lead the life I want to lead, and not just daydream about it.

To 2011, and a happy year.

Playing with pretty things

Even when business isn't ideal, I love the fact that my dad's jewelry store is usually involved in happy situations. You buy jewelry to mark special occasions, celebrate, honor, surprise, treat yourself or someone else--and the end result is something pretty and positive. Not a duty, a burden, a necessity, but something lovely that enhances your literal view and your figurative mindset. His store, while the back rooms are full of piles of paper that border on "Hoarders", is full of the shiny, the glittery and the fancy. His customers have long personal business histories with him, and he may do engagement rings for multiple generations, and remake a great-grandmother's prized necklace for a high-school graduate. They send thank-you cards and call to share happy proposal stories, and his jewelry plays a minor role in so many lovely times in people's lives. He gets to play with pretty things, and make people happy. Does it get much better than that?

My love for fashion and jewelry and building relationships with people, which I remember every time I go down to his store when I'm in Pittsburgh, leads me back to the recurring conversation I've been having with friends lately. Not to be cliche or dramatic, but plenty of us are in that typical "quarter-life crisis", where, in our early/mid-twenties, we're dissatisfied being entry-level, dreaming dreams of bigger or better or farther away, and/or having a hard time pinpointing just exactly what we should be doing.

New goal? Focus on two main questions.

1) What makes me happy?
2) What am I good at?

Ultimately, I'm seeking the ideal intersection:

What can I do that I am good at that also makes me happy?

(Yes, I'm idealistic enough to believe my work should make me happy, not just provide the means for my existence. No, I'm not currently interested in your argument that I should find a 9-5 that supports me in just doing things I actually love in my free time. But thank you, and best of luck with that in your own life, it just won't cut it for me.)

This currently results in lots of mental or physical post-it notes full of pros, cons, top 5s, lists of things I loathe and detest, cities, classes, things to learn, things I know I'm terrible at, and things I hope other people think I'm good at. No guarantees that I'll figure out anything any time soon, and while I trawl craigslist (JOBS, people, the adult services sections have been shut down....), keeping up hope I'll spot something that hits a nerve, I want to know that I'm not just settling. That I'll find the best way to play with the pretty things, in one way or another.

I refuse to be hoodwinked.

Leif: facebook is single people hell.

Facebook announcements of engagements and marriages, the general public, and inane questions are trying to trick me and a lot of my fellow singletons.

Not in a Halloween, here's a Reese's cup, sorry my Sarah Palin mask scared you, kind of way. But trying to trick me into thinking that at age 23, I should be in a serious relationship, engaged, married, or even on the way to being a mom. 23 can mean a lot of different things, and I sometimes get the sense that the universe is trying to corral me onto a plane of existence I'm not prepared for.

I have the ultimate respect for my friends on these paths. More power to them. They have really nice apartments with their significant others, great cocktail parties, the occasional puppies, and I'm looking forward to the open bars at their weddings in the near(er than I'd predicted) future. The time and energy and commitment they put into the relationships in their lives blow me away, and I hope I have that success some day. But it's not for everyone, not right now.

Take off the scary mask, people and things who make me think I'm not on the right path. I don't like your pointed questions about "how is such a ___, ___, and ____ girl single?", how your facebook pages bombard with me with relationship statuses or your public displays of affections or proposals. You're no legitimate vice-presidential candidate, and I'm just not that "grown-up" yet.

Career change?

After I spilled out myriad suggestions for daydrinking and brunching around Boston on very little notice...

Dana: Oh my God. You should write a book

me: I so would. Quit this job. Eat and drink (and run to keep from getting obese) for a living.

Dana: You should pitch it to the Travel Channel

Dana: You'd be way better than stupid Samantha Brown
me: Loud Jewish girl with a penchant for patios, gin cocktails, and french fries.

You know you'd DVR that. Maybe watch it with the volume kept low? :)

My agenda for tomorrow's sunny Friday forecast--a brunch and drinking adventure around Boston and Cambridge with one visiting Swede. Stay tuned for tweets and mini-blog posts, and maybe brainstorming on a travel show pitch?

Anything Worth Doing....

...is worth doing well. Cliche? True. I don't care whether it's completing a work project on deadline, forging personal relationships, writing a blog post, or baking cookies, I don't really see the point unless you're in it to make something real. Something with impact. And not just doing something to get it done.

If you're going to write a letter, spellcheck it.

If you're going to invest (increasingly rare free) time in a friendship or a relationship, make sure it's not with a toxic or time-wasting person.

Planning an event? Make sure that the invitations arrive on time, that attendees can hear the live band, AND that there aren't any names misspelled on the nametags.

Having downtime? Actually turn your cellphone off, and stop pretending that multi-tasking is relaxing!

Running a business? Figure out the balance between being a good person and being a good businessperson--you won't have customers if you're an asshole, but you also can't pay bills with good will.

It's my continuing obsession with both the big picture and the little details. Seeing the forest, the trees and the leaves. Whatever you want to call it, keep it all in perspective.

writing is good for the soul.

1,179 words down, and I feel less crazy than I did all day at work. Inspired by 21.5.800, I’m going to try to write at least 800 words a day for 21 days. I might not get to the yoga part, because I’ve been more into running and weights lately, but I could definitely use the writing. Not everything I write will be for public consumption, but if you’re interested in reading what I’m writing, let me know. If you’re doing it too, I’d probably like to read whatever you’re up for sharing!

a little perspective

I ultimately want:

• an office where I can wear every ludicrous get-up I can create out of my closet (thank you, September Issue, I still would want to work in fashion some day....)
  
• the freedom to be blunt, honest and forthright as a result of my rank or level of respect
  
• to call all the shots
  

In the end, I need:

• a job that grows with me, challenges me, and gets me to give as much of myself as I can
• to work from 9-5 as often as possible, but have the passion for what I do to keep me liking it even when it temporarily takes over my life
• to work with (for, if I have to) people I respect and trust
  

I currently have:

• the chance to try something new
  
• an opportunity to learn some patience
  
• a path to meet some amazing people
  
• an entree into figuring out what it is that I'm good at AND like to do (the two shouldn't be mutually exclusive.)
• the state of mind where I rememberthat nothing is carved in stone, for better or for worse, and that keeping an open mind is for the best.
  

I'll take it.

What Gets You Over the Hump?

Wednesday = Hump Day.

Halfway to the weekend, far enough away from Monday to maybe diminish some of the pain.

What's getting me through the week:

• An awesome 2 mile run this morning: longest I remember ever running without stopping, and no pain afterwards. longer tomorrow if I can!
• NU Open Classroom series is about global jazz tonight! Meeting up with Sam for class, and maybe Will for a drink.
  
• Tickets to Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers with Dani and A tomorrow! Seen them over half a dozen times, and they're still one of my favorite live acts.
• Leaving for San Francisco next Friday (and spending time until then plotting my adventure). For a real vacation. More than a week long. No babies, weddings, funerals, or other life cycle events, just seeing 4 fabulous boys and not checking my work email! (my brother Jeremy, my cousin Dan, Stivers, and Leif!)
• Delia comes back from Cuba this weekend!
• The rain is stopping? Forecast of sunshine for the weekend and maybe frolicking on the beach?! I almost don't believe it.